/* MOBILE FIX: stop forcing desktop min-width */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body { min-width: 0 !important; } .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } .date-header { background: #000 !important; display: block !important; width: 100% !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .date-header span { background: transparent !important; } .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; } /* --- XMastime fixes: titles + date bars + mobile --- */ /* Post titles: stop random centering */ h3.post-title, h2.post-title, .post-title { text-align: left !important; } /* Date header: make the black bar extend full width */ .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; text-align: left !important; } /* Mobile: stop forcing huge desktop width */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body { min-width: 0 !important; } .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } /* FORCE post titles consistent */ .post-title, .post-title a, h2.post-title, h3.post-title { text-align: left !important; } /* FORCE full-width date bar across common Blogger structures */ .date-header, .date-header span, .post-header, .post-header-line-1, .post-header-line-1 span, .post-outer .post-header-line-1, .post-outer .post-header, .blog-posts .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; margin: 0 !important; } /* prevent inner bits from “breaking” the bar */ .date-header *, .post-header *, .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; text-align: left !important; } /* MOBILE: stop the fixed 1218px width behavior */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body, .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } /* DATE HEADER: make the black bar go full width */ .date-outer, /* FORCE FULL WIDTH DATE BAR NO MATTER WHAT */ .date-outer, .date-posts, .date-posts h2, .date-posts h3, .date-header, h2.date-header, h3.date-header { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 10px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; margin: 0 0 18px 0 !important; } /* force the TEXT itself orange and remove any weird inner box */ .date-posts span, .date-header span, .date-posts h2 span, .date-posts h3 span { background: transparent !important; color: #ff6600 !important; display: block !important; width: 100% !important; } -->

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

One Degree of Seperation Now!!!

For Exclusive Chef's Table master classes
Available Monday-Wednesday lunch at a charge of $195 per person (minimum 4 guests, maximum 8 guests).
T: 212 468 8888 and quote ‘master class’ to make a reservation.

Xmastime quickly picks up the phone.

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.

Voice: Good afternoon, thank you for calling Gordon Ramsay at the London.
Xmastime: Hi, I’m calling about the Chef’s Table master classes?
Voice: ok. What would you like to know?
Xmastime: ummm….what is it?
Voice: Oh! (surprised there's still some hick in the world that don't know what this is) Well it’s a cooking demonstration by the chef for a minimum of four people.
Xmastime: does…(dare I ask?) does, ah (do it!!!) does…does Gordon Ramsay give the demonstration?
Voice: Yes
Xmastime: (on the floor, shrieking/crying like a baby. Make that a baby that’s been dropped on the floor, that loudness/pitch) REALLY??!??!!?!?!? Gordon Ramsay does the class??!?!!!
Voice: whoa whoa, no no, not him. The chef at the restaurant, Chef (insert name of who gives a shit here)
Xmastime: Oh.
Voice: (sensing great disappointment) He’s really good.
Xmastime: Yeah. I’m sure. (rolling “who gives a shit?” eyes)
Voice: it would be physically impossible for Chef Ramsay to be here.
Xmastime: well..."physically impossible" seems a bit strong. but yeah…I guess so…I just saw it’s Mon-Wed…I guess that would be a bit much to ask.
Voice: yes.
Xmastime: and I guess that would bump the price up, huh?
Voice: -
Xmastime: So…you ever meet him?
Voice: Chef Ramsay?
Xmastime: -
Voice: oh sure, whenever he’s in town he comes by
Xmastime: REALLY? (my “my nuts just got bit by a shark” voice)
Voice: sure
Xmastime: what’s he like? I’m totally obsessed with him now cause of “Kitchen Nightmares”!!!!
Voice: he’s great. Really nice.
Xmastime: Really?
Voice: he’s very nice to us.
Xmastime: so I can tell everyone he’s cool? What’s he say to you?
Voice: I have to go, thanks again for calling
Xmastime: tell Gordon Xmastime called to say hello!!!
Voice: (click)
at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)