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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Will Not Be Visiting This Dude

People are weird, aren't they? To me, something like this should be either a reality show, or a punishment handed down by law to, oh, say, Hitler. Or the Red Hot Chili Peppers. But this dude's fighting for his rights, ain't he? Glod bless him. Bet he doesn't get a lot of second dates tho, huh?

(morning after hookup, Betty goes down to the kitchen for some coffee; terrified comes sprinting back upstairs)

Betty: Brian!!! I just saw a bunch of king cobras in your kitchen!!!!!!!
Brian: yeah, I know. They're my pets.
Betty: (stunned) what the...what the...
Brian: come back to bed, baby!
Betty: bed?? are you nuts? I don't ever wanna see you again! (turns to leave)
Brian: (jumping outta bed) is this cause I'm a janitor?!?!?!?! fuck you!!!!

flash forward a few days later, Bri-guy is with his buddies

Bill: say Brian, how'd that date with Betty go, yall goin out again?
Brian: naw
Bill: why not?
Brian: oh you know how it is, she's fucking crazy!!

(knowing nod from Bill, clink Coors Lites together)
at

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